School of Hard Days - collage of colorful pieces of cardstock paper, to create the exterior of a school

The last few years have been autobiography worthy, some might think it’s more fiction , than memoir - because it seems impossible and surreal. There were a lot of hard days, and a lot of lessons learned!

My biggest take away, the only way to the other side is through it, many times I didn’t think I could or would make it through - but here I am.

Which leads to my next major lesson, I am stronger than I ever knew. I took some major blows, I was knocked down, but through the grace and mercy of God, I got back up. I am not only standing, I am moving, I am walking, most importantly - I am walking in hope, love and faith.

All of the lessons have prepared me for the tough days.

My greatest growth might just be my outlook, for a while all I could see was loss, who left me, who stopped calling, what I lost financially, the attempts to ruin my name and reputation, the inability to get a job. But, when I stopped and looked around, I realized I was focused on the wrong things, I had to open my eyes to see the good around me, and learn to let go of the things I can’t control - I am not fully there yet, but I am on the journey.

Today I am sharing a few of the lessons learned, the things that got me through. I thought the hard days were here to take me out, but what they really did is strengthen me, and usher me on to a new journey, a new path.

Lessons Learned:

Process your feelings

When my heart was breaking and my soul was despondent, I reflected on the stories of Job and David. I thought about all they endured, and how they were selected and favored by God and yet so fully human.

In their moments of despair and on their worst days, they didn’t hide their feelings, they didn’t pretend, they shared their pain, they processed the heartache and disappoint and communicated their frustration.

I spent a good deal of my life being the “strong one”. The last few years forced me to acknowledge my strength comes from the Lord and when I am struggling, I need to draw on God’s power.

I learned it is okay it be sad, or mad or even ask God why, but you must learn from the feelings - not live in them. If we truly trust God we move in our faith and not in our feelings.

Remember who you are

I am indebted to the people who would’t let me forget who I am, this is not about a past life or things I used to do - this was a reminder that I am bigger than any one thing, a title, a relationship or a moment in time.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

I am creative - what I did in the past is based on who I am and what I created, developed and shared.

I am loved and cared for, I spent too much time on who left me, when I should have spent more time on the people who loved me! When I started to look through my phone and see the calls and text messages and love I received I celebrated the care and compassion that surrounds me.

Be Grateful

I am grateful for so many things, too many to name in this space, but those moments of reflection and appreciation, transformed my darkest nights into glorious, bright, light-filled days!

The benefits of a practice of gratitude are scientifically proven to improve your mental and physical well-being. Giving thanks helps lower stress, reduces anxiety and depression, and boosts happiness. On the physical side, being grateful helps improve sleep and boosts immunity.

Rest and Meditate (Pray)

Pushing through is not always the best solution - your brain needs rest. Pushing through can increase stress, it is necessary to take the time to renew, pause and allow for the stress to decrease.

There are mental and physical benefits to rest.

Similarly, meditation helps calm your nervous system and puts some distance between reality and your negative thoughts and helps address symptoms of depression.

Scientists are studying prayer and suggest the practice might boost mental health. On a personal level the ability to talk to God, discuss my problems and “leave them there”, helped me get out of bed and go outside. It is scientifically true for at least one person - that’s me!

These are just a few of the lessons I learned, and I continue to grow and learn more every day. In this month’s Revival post I share a zine with a few more lessons learned in the school of life.

Thank you again for supporting me and being a part of my journey.